Blood. Beer. Blastbeats. Bullets. Bruised brains.

So I've given myself a week to sort of process all of the illicit motherandfatherfucking awesomeness that was Maryland Deathfest.

I think, like all epic events, this one is still coloring my perceptions to some degree. My proverbial ears are still ringing with the din.

I tweeted pretty heavily in terms of describing my reactions to the various bands I saw, so I'm probably not going to spend a lot of time here recounting live performances. A few highlights stand out that I want to mention, though, because they tie in to an over-arching point.

First of all, I have to talk a little about Portal's set. Mainly to gush. Freakishly.

I guess the thing that hits me hardest about that band is the totally original imagery and approach they've developed. Love them or hate them, there really is not another band like them. They come closest to giving one a tangible feeling of otherworldliness. Something about their music actually sounds like what a rip in the fabric of reality might be expected to sound like.

Anyway, as I was standing there, in almost complete darkness; bathed in stuffy, humid air; breathed on and smothered by sweaty, smelly strangers; watching the Curator gesticulate and inhumanly pontificate on whatever arcane and outre knowledge he had to expound on, I realized I was seeing and hearing something pretty damn incredible.

I probably won't soon forget that.

Next, Gridlink. Oh man. I could probably type a couple million characters about how awesome it was to just be in the same room as ex-Discordance Axis and Human Remains personnel, I could gush like a quivering fanboy at my physical proximity to the yowling, manic form of Jon Chang, or about how I was actually watching Steve Procopio manhandle his guitar with my own eyes; but that's not really what I was most conscious of while I was watching Gridlink tear through their set.

All I was thinking about was how FUCKING. AWESOME. THEY. WERE.

Also...HOW. FUCKING. FAST. THEIR. DRUMMER. IS.

Those blastbeats...they were...they were...beautiful.

Finally, Eyehategod. Of all the bands that I think just nailed both their live performance and live sound, Eyehategod were the fucking standouts. They sounded exactly like they should sound. They played with all the fucking oily, pissed off, ugly, bluesy sleaze with which they should play. It was not disappointing. I probably punched the most air for them, and that's saying a lot. There's something to be said for taking 20 years to really hone your fucking craft.

The point that these bands make for me, the conclusion I've come to after almost sixteen years of listening to heavy/extreme music (more than half my life) is that music itself seems more rewarding when it's heavy. I can't escape the conclusion.

At one point we're all hanging out in the hotel room after just arriving in Baltimore, taking a little time out to rest up before we headed up to the Pre-Fest Party. We're watching Brian Posehn on Comedy Central and he's going through his bits about being ugly and being married and having a dog lick his wife's vagina, and then he starts talking about metal. He says "you never hear fans of other music walking around growling "R AND B!!!! FUCKIN R AND B!!!!!"

It's true. You don't. You don't get that sense of an almost fanatical religious devotion to a musical form. Maybe we've just had to work harder for it, so getting to hear the music we want, or see the bands we love is more rewarding. Maybe it goes along with being a social misfit, so the music ties us together, binds us in our own special subculture. But I think it's more than that. I think it's the structure of the underground music scene. It's safe to say that in punk and metal, the majority of people aren't just spectators. They are involved in one way or another. They're in bands, they promote shows, they run labels, they do artwork, whatever. Most of us are involved as musicians.

I think that separates underground extreme music from every other musical genre out there. All other forms of music attract largely non-participant fans. But with metal and punk...that's just not the case. The point I'm getting at is that, with the possible exception of jazz, no other genre comes with the same almost ubiquitously musically educated fanbase. And unlike jazz, where an obsessive academic dissection has left it a rather static and sterile relic for music historians and snivelling snobs to paw over, metal and punk are still dynamic, still evolving, still living, breathing, fighting, fucking, and eating.

And yet, even the past is still alive with underground music. Old legends only seem to grow in stature as the years go by. A classic record remains a classic record no matter what trends come and go, and most underground music fans are reverent towards the classics.

So when you hear some metal fan start pontificating over a band, you can bet his opinion is a little more informed--he's not only aware of the technical aspects of the music from his own experience, but there's also a sense of history to his perception. Basically anyone listening to grindcore, hardcore punk, or metal understands that the music is inescapably colored by, and compared to, Slayer's Reign in Blood. Anyone listening to modern grindcore knows the music is inescapably influenced by and linked back to Napalm Death, Repulsion, and Siege in the 1980's. A lot of historical allusion is in the music, and there's a real feeling of messy, unpredictable evolution.

I don't get that sense from other forms of music. I don't get that sense from other music fans. I do get snobbery but without much substance to back it up.

Worse though, I get shallow, uninformed 'music criticism' (particularly of what I listen to) from people who can't even play Mary Had a Little Lamb on a guitar. It's hard not to feel that people who can't play music don't really know how to listen to music. And not knowing how to listen to music, they certainly can't form valuable insights about music. And as such, I usually feel it's safe to discount their opinion.

That's my big point. All of this discussion has just been to say: shut up. You can't play. You're not in a band. You've never written a song yourself. You don't even know how to listen to music without being totally distracted by the rhythm and the vocals. So, I honestly cannot force myself to give a shit about your opinion. Stop trying to tell me what's good or bad or 'easy' or 'dumb' about the music I listen to. Stop trying to tell me what's good or bad about any music, because you don't really know. You're like a tongueless, noseless troglodyte trying to describe the experience of eating Thai food. You can only describe it by your limited senses, but you're missing the real deal, you're missing ninety-percent of the experience.

It makes me wonder sometimes how such people can even consider themselves music fans. It really is like being a food connoisseur without a sense of taste. What do you focus on? The texture? That is to say, what are you listening for, exactly, when you can't draw any real inferences about the performance, when you can't separate the various melodies and see how they were arranged, when you can't appreciate timing, a well-placed hook, a particularly badass riff, or a paint-stripping blastbeat played to perfection?

I could go on, but I'll leave it with this: why is most modern popular music mostly composed of a drum beat and a person singing? I propose that those are the two easiest components for non-musicians to understand. They can't really appreciate much else, so most popular music consists solely of that. Think about it.