Every day seems fraught with possibilities that dissolve on contact. I see a pattern of never being able to fail, even spectacularly, because I never get into the running. Not even considered a competitor.
I suppose I just want a chance to lose big, or get rejected hard, on my own merits. Rather than having to accept the artificial barriers that keep me stuck in my own rut. I don't mind being blown to bits if I'm the one who pulls the pin.
I'm frustrated with this day to day sterility. I want to set something on fire.
You won't burn. You're encased in ice. So am I.
I guess I have to do this with a sledgehammer instead of a plan.
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